Let George Do It

georgeMy name is George.  I’m an all-around handyman, and I’d like you to feel free to use my service for any and all chores, errands, duties which you may be too busy to perform. Anytime there’s anything that needs doing and you’d rather not, you just let George do it.
I’ll write to your congressman for you; I’ll write your newspaper editor; I’ll serve on the community committees in your place; I’ll do anything you’re too tired to do or preoccupied to do. With me around, you can be as lazy as you like, or just have fun.  The more the merrier, I always say.
My services are available to you for all the tedious, time-consuming things which you’d rather duck doing. You haven’t time to exercise. Let George do it. You haven’t time for a service project. I have. You don’t want to accept committee assignments and extra responsibilities, anyway.You let ol’ George tend to those things.
Maybe I’m not as famous as Castro, but if it hadn’t been for me, you’d never have heard of him. And that goes for Stalin and Hitler and Mao-Tse-Tung, too. I made those guys! And the big-time racketeers in the United States. You name ’em…without me those guys would be nothing.
Why do I want to run errands for you? When I’m the guy who runs all these “big wheels,” why do I want to run errands for you?  Don’t you see? I get a kick out of electing presidents of student bodies and school boards. I’m all these things you used to do before you took up chasing dollars and not being concerned over your organization’s or your responsibilities.
Don’t feel like you’re imposing. I’m glad to be of service. Helping you, I’m really helping myself. How do you think I was able to takeover and run a third of the world already?  Because nobody else wanted to bother.  They said “Let George do it,” so I did it.
Now I’m taking over in lots of cities and counties and I figure it’s just a matter of time until I’ll take over in this town, too.I want to thank you for making it possible.  Remember now, if there is ever any way in which I can be of help, I’m at your service. You just have fun and don’t worry about a thing.  I’ll do your worrying, too. I’LL BILL YOU LATER!